


Only You

by MaraGiggles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaraGiggles/pseuds/MaraGiggles
Summary: What happens when Dean is confronted with a piece of his past?





	Only You

_“Love me forever, or not at all.”_

With a groan, Zara hung her head and closed her eyes tight. Then she lifted her head to glare at the radio, as if she could shut it off with her thoughts alone. How she _hated_ this song…

_“End of our tether, backs to the wall. Give me your hand-”_

Moving as quick as she could, Zara switched off the radio forcefully before she slid down the wall beside it to the floor. Even though the music no longer played, she could still hear the song in her mind. Only, it wasn’t Lemmy’s voice she heard… it was his. It had been years since she’d seen him last, but she still remembered everything about him…

“Get. Out. Of. My. Head!” she snapped, punctuating each word by banging her head against the wall behind her. Tears filled her eyes unwillingly as she thought of him, making her even angrier. It had been three years and he could stillmake her cry. It wasn’t fair. She knew he would have forgotten her by now… she hated that she would never forget him…

No matter how hard she tried…

With an angry, heavy sigh, Zara pushed herself to her feet again. Her stomach growled impatiently at her, reminding her she was supposed to be getting dinner ready. Not wallowing and sulking over someone who had never loved her. So she pushed him from her head, flicked on the TV for some noise, and returned to the kitchen.

Her simple, TV dinner for one was quick and easy to make, the way she liked it. Since she only had to feed herself, what was the point in cooking fancy meals like she used to… for him… “Stop it,” she growled at herself as the microwave dinged. Even though she hated being alone, it was better than the alternative. Once again forcing him from her thoughts, Zara took her meal from the microwave, plopped herself down on the couch, put her feet on the table, and turned to the movie that was playing.

Unfortunately, being the movie buff he had been, nearly every movie reminded her of him. They had spent many a night together doing nothing more than watching one of his many, many favourites. So Zara quickly changed the channel, flicking it over to the news instead. It wasn’t enough to take her mind off him, though, and she quickly realised she wasn’t hungry anymore.

With another heavy sigh, Zara threw her food down on the table and dropped her head into her hands. It so wasn’t fair. He obviously didn’t want her, had left her over three years ago, and yet she still couldn’t move on. It was his fault. He had lied to her for too long, had convinced her she truly could be loved again. And then one night, completely out of the blue, he told her he didn’t love her. That he never had loved her… that he was leaving her.

**“I don’t need you…”**

So she had left, first. And, while she had been tempted, her damaged ego wouldn’t let her go running back to him. He didn’t want her, so she could live without him. Zara liked to think she had done well for herself since leaving. She now had a steady home, and was well-regarded in town. Of course, he had taught her everything she knew, everything that made her who she was now.

Maybe that’s why it was so hard to let him go…

**“Don’t follow me, Z.”**

“You don’t have time for this,” she muttered to herself, rubbing her forehead as the lady on the TV started talking about some breaking news. Thanks to her reputation, she no longer had the luxury of sulking over her past. She had a job to do, and she had wasted enough time as it was. “Now get back to it…”

Like the radio, Zara turned the TV off forcefully before he stood and carried her dinner to the trash. She successfully managed to push him from her mind as she turned it to the job at hand. Snatching her books off the kitchen counter where she’d left them, Zara returned to the couch and began flipping through the top one. All the others she’d gone through so far had been put back as they were useless.

But this book was different. She quickly found a monster that was a perfect match for everything she knew so far. The other things it told her weren’t pretty, and she prayed she didn’t see that side of the beast. As she read the words from the book, Zara’s mind began to wander as she recalled doing this with him and his brother, sometimes pulling all-nighters…

Once again chiding herself for thinking of him and not the job, Zara shook her head and focused more on the words before her. When the first victim had surfaced, Zara had assumed a vampire nest had sprung up nearby. Until she had been able to examine the body, and discovered his heart had been crushed, his chest ripped open. Then she’d thought, maybe werewolf? But nope. She had never fought a Lamia before, had never even heard of one until now. But it was the only thing in her books that matched. 

While it told her how to destroy one, unfortunately the book left out how to find them. She had plenty of silver knives, and it would be more than simple to get the town priest to bless one of them. Reading on, Zara discovered most Lamia preferred to look like beautiful, young women to lure human men to their deaths… and she realised she knew exactlywhere to look.

She even felt stupid for not suspecting her sooner…

**

“Dude, this sucks,” grumbled Dean as he dropped his glass back down on the table. “Why is it every time we get close to this Eve, some monster has to rear its ugly head and start terrorising people?”

“Look, I wanna get this over with as much as you do,” said Sam calmly, his huge hands covering the journal as the blonde waitress brought them over more drinks and Dean’s pie. The smile that crossed his face at the sight of his food had Sam shaking his head. He waited until the waitress had left before he continued. “But Bobby caught wind of something in Tyndall, and we were the closest Hunters in the area. Lets just find out what it is, kill it, and then we can go find Eve.”

“Yeah, as soon as we work out how to kill the evil son-of-a-bitch,” grumbled Dean, his mouth already full of pie. “You know what, I bet she’s the reason all these monsters are suddenly springing up all over the place.”

“What did the police say about the last victim?” asked Sam absentmindedly, making Dean shake his head at his younger brother. “His heart had been crushed, right?”

“Can we not talk about crushed hearts while I’m eating?” suggested Dean, finding it hard to swallow his mouthful now. “You know what, forget it. I’m not hungry.” He shoved his pie away from him as Sam looked up with a grin. “Yes, crushed heart, blood gone, chest ripped open. So what’re we thinking? Vampire? Werewolf?”

“Actually…” started Sam, falling silent as someone passed their table. They kept their hood up, their face turned away as they slipped past. For a moment both brothers attention was caught by the stranger, but then they shook their heads. Dean realised half the people in here had hoods up, or scarves around their faces. It was pretty chilly outside… “I was thinking it’s a good thing I got that knife blessed,” Sam continued quietly, turning the journal around so Dean could see it.

“Oh, god, again?” Dean grumbled, his eyes scanning the journal. Sam had added the information about the Lamia after they’d ganked the last one in Wisconsin a few months back. “Don’t you dare say I told you so. These things are supposed to only be in Greece, man. We still have it, right?”

“Yup, in the trunk,” said Sam, pulling the journal back and passing him a piece of paper. And thankfully not saying I told you so. “And I think I already know who we’re looking at. Only one person has moved to town in the last year, and she arrived only two weeks before the first victim was discovered. Look familiar?”

Dean groaned again as his eyes landed on the picture. “Well, at least this one’s made it easy for us,” he sighed, glancing back up to find the blonde waitress. She stood by the back, talking to the woman who had passed their table moments before. She’d taken her hood down now, letting her long, bright red hair fall down her back, which was turned to him so he couldn’t see her face. But he could see the blonde easily enough.

He watched closely as the waitress nodded, wiping her hands on her apron as she moved back to the bar with a smile. The woman she’d been speaking to pulled her hood back up and pushed her way through the crowd to leave the bar again. The blonde followed a few minutes later, after she’d spoken to the tall, black man also behind the bar.

“Heads up,” said Dean softly, nodding in the direction of the waitress as she left. “Looks like our friend found her next victim.” The last Lamia they’d taken down had only gone for young males, but Dean supposed each monster was different. Maybe this one liked the taste of men and women, who knew? Dean didn’t really care what it preferred; the only good monster was a dead monster.

Without another word the brothers paid and got up to follow the pair. They got outside in time to see both women getting into a 1960’s Cadillac, and Dean almost whistled at the beauty of the car. The red-head had her hood down again, but he couldn’t see her face in the darkness as she drove off with the blonde.

Sam reached the Impala first, but Dean was right on his tail as he jumped in the driver’s seat. The car was started before he’d even shut his door, the tires screeching as he took off after the Lamia and her prey. “Where are they going?” muttered Dean quietly as they followed the Cadillac out of town. He kept a discreet distance between the two cars, only speeding up once the Cadillac’s tail-lights disappeared around a corner.

“Dean, pull over,” said Sam quickly, and Dean complied. He pulled up a few feet past a driveway, which he assumed the other car had gone down. Lights shone in between the trees, telling him there was a house down there at least.

Moving quickly, thinking they wouldn’t have much time before the Lamia struck, Sam and Dean rushed to the trunk and started pulling out weapons. The main one was the blessed blade, but Dean took a few other knives and they each took a gun, just in case. While shooting wouldn’t kill a Lamia, it would certainly slow it down a bit. Well, it had last time…

The unspoken plan had been to sneak up on the house and hopefully surprise the Lamia before it hurt the red-head. Unfortunately, that plan went out the window when they heard screaming from inside the house. The scream was followed by a vicious roar that Dean recognised from Wisconsin, and before he knew it he was running through the front door.

“Get out!” screamed the red-head, her back to him as she faced down the Lamia with nothing but a silver sword. “Idiots, I’ve got this handled!” Something about the woman’s voice sounded familiar to him, but he shoved that aside as the Lamia lunged for her.

Before Dean could move, as Sam reached him and stopped dead beside him, the woman lifted her sword and decapitated the Lamia with one, clean swing. The head rolled a few feet from the body as it dropped, but the red-head kicked it back over as she sprinkled something over the top. Sam and Dean watched in stunned silence as the woman then struck a match, which she dropped onto the body before stepping back as the flames took hold.

“Well, that was unexpected,” said Dean as the Lamia burnt brightly. He glanced up at the red-head, who still hadn’t turned to them, then back at Sam. “I thought Bobby said no Hunters were in the area?”

“I knew that was you,” growled the woman, finally turning to face them. And Dean felt his mouth drop open in shock. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Zara?” asked Sam in complete shock. Dean couldn’t do much more than stare in disbelief. How could she be here? This close to Bobby’s, of all places…? “What are you doing here? Where’ve you been?”

Sam still didn’t know Dean was the reason Zara had left them all those years ago. He had pushed her away, and had missed her ever since. But he’d done what was necessary to keep her safe… when he constantly drew the ire of every evil son-of-a-bitch for miles around, it wasn’t safe for anyone he loved…

“I asked first,” snarled Zara, wiping her sword on the couch before she sheathed it on her hip again. “If you came for the Lamia, its dead, job done. Now get the fuck out of my town.” Neither brother spoke as Zara pushed between them and out the front door.

He knew he had hurt her, should just let her walk away, should leave like she’d said. However, Dean had watched her walk away once because of him, and he’d regretted it ever since. She was probably happy here, had probably moved on years back, like he’d hoped… but he couldn’t let her walk away without knowing for sure.

“Zara, wait!” he called, rushing out after her. He noticed she had started to run at his call, but he still managed to catch her before she reached her car. “Talk to me, dammit!”

“You want me to talk?” she snapped, turning on him and pulling her arm from his grasp. Fire burned in the wake of her skin, tingling down his arm even after she’d pulled away. “Fine. Lets talk about what a low-life, lying piece of scum you are, shall we?” Dean felt his heart crack at her words, realising he’d hurt her more than he’d imagined with his lies.

“I’ll uh… I’ll go wait in the car,” said Sam haltingly. He rubbed his neck awkwardly as he glanced at Dean, then at Zara. “Give you two a chance to… catch up…” With that, Sam abruptly turned and started back down the driveway.

“Don’t bother,” shouted Zara, turning back to her car. “Take your trash with you. It’s rude to litter.”

“Zara, please,” Dean pleaded, something he didn’t often do. But for her… he reached for her arm again, trying to stop her from leaving. “You don’t have to be so rude…” Even if he deserved it.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she replied in a mocking tone, turning back to him. She pulled her arm from his grasp once more, glaring at him with more hatred than he’d thought was possible for her. “Did you think you could break my heart and it would still be all sunshine and freaking rainbows?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he argued, realising that to have broken her heart, he had to have held it in the first place… Zara had never loved him… had she? “I thought I was doing the right thing!”

“What, by leaving me?” snapped Zara, taking a step towards him with her hand clenched on the hilt of her sword. “You knew how much I hated being alone! You knew I had no one else to turn to, and you still turned your back on me!”

“I was trying to save you!” he yelled back, vaguely aware that Sam was still watching their argument closely. He knew his brother would ask him about this later. “I’m dangerous to be around! I almost lost you, Z!”

“You might believe the bullshit you tell yourself at night,” she whispered, her mood suddenly changing from fury to dejection. “But I don’t. I’m not a stupid, naïve little girl anymore, Winchester.”

“Come on, Zara,” he tried, softening his own tone as he reached for her hand again. She pulled it away before he touched her, though. “Can we go somewhere and talk? Like, properly talk? Please?”

For a moment, Dean thought she might agree. But then Zara shook her head and stepped back, her back pressing against her car. “I have nothing to say to you,” she said, looking down at her feet. “What Azazel did to me was nothing compared to hearing you say those words.” That almost broke Dean completely, and he fought to stay on his feet. Tears filled his own eyes as she looked back up at him briefly, but he refused to let them fall. “I have to go. Goodbye, Dean.”

“I get it,” he said, trying to sound strong as he stood back. “Boyfriends waiting for you, right? You’d better get back to him, let him know you’re safe…” He needed to know…

Zara sighed as she opened the driver’s side door, her head dipping slightly. Dean could see her shoulders shaking, but made no move to comfort her. He knew she would just push him away, and he couldn’t handle that right then. “There is no one else,” she sighed, her voice thick with tears. “It was always you… only you…”

Without another word, without even glancing back at him, Zara got into her car and drove off. Sam stood aside as she tore down the driveway, kicking up a cloud of dust that covered him and blocked his sight. When the dust cleared, the taillights of her car were gone and Sam stood beside him. “So…”

“Don’t even say it, Sam,” snapped Dean angrily, stalking off towards where he’d left the Impala. The last thing he wanted was to talk about what had just happened. If anything, he’d rather forget. If Zara had loved him, she clearly didn’t anymore. He had turned that love sour the day he’d lied and told her he had never cared for her. It was obvious she hated him now, and nothing he said or did would ever change that.

He’d let her go to keep her safe. So she could have a life of peace and happiness, find someone better… Turns out, she didn’t have any of those things. She was a Hunter, like him… filled with hate and anger… like him. He hadn’t saved her at all…

He’d destroyed her.

Sam said nothing as he caught up, and they reached the Impala in silence. Dean glanced only once back to Tyndall, then shoved Zara from his mind and got in the car. He wouldn’t think about her, not ever again. His mind was made up, but as he turned on the car and the radio started playing, he couldn’t help himself.

He started to cry.

_Love me or leave me, tell me no lies,_  
Ask me no questions, send me no spies,  
You know love’s a thief,  
Steal your heart in the night,  
Slip through your fingers,  
You best hold on tight. 


End file.
